Speaking with another adoptee yesterday, half African American, half Korean, she noted how I was the only adoptee she’d ever spoken with who didn’t want to be white growing up.
While it is true I felt white and was always zapped into place when the rest of the world reminded me that I was not, I never did want to be white. I would sometimes look in the mirror and think that I did not look less than them. Sometimes I would even think I looked beautiful. And what I really wanted was for MY race to be as strong and proudly identified as the other minorities who lived near me. I did not want to be a model minority. I wanted to be a militant angry minority. I wanted the solidarity that being marginalized as a group brings. If I was going to be exotified for my race, I wanted it to have more substance than being sexualized and subservient. I wanted to be MORE ethnic. I wanted my minority status to be the IT minority. But I felt instead that my race was the marginalized of the marginalized.
Did anyone else here want to be a major force in pop culture? Did anyone else here want to be a different more popular and influential minority?