Recently I’ve taken steps towards disengaging from the adoptee community. One person wryly told me my efforts were futile, and she told me being an [transracial] adoptee was like going to the Hotel California, “you can check out but you can never leave.”
It made me think about how visibly not fitting in (or culturally not fitting in here in my birth culture) instantly “outs” the transracial adoptee. To the extent that, aside from getting plastic surgery and going into a witness protection program (joking) to obtain an entirely new identity, there’s little one can do to not be forever labeled as this thing that was done to you/for you against your will, and that one may have to forever explain one’s difference until you die.
I have my own hopes/ideas how this may be done, but I also may be fooling myself. What do you think?